Coming of age is not just like a movie. Normally, yes, you have to overcome obstacles to find out who you actually are. It’s more like understanding who you are as a person without the help of others. When you grow up and get older, you have to find out who you are: most likely by yourself. Everybody’s “coming of age” is different; maybe it requires others to help you such as having fights with friends, trying to have others accept you for the real person you are and not the fake you, or even having healthy or heart-breaking fights with your parents. Expressing your own individuality, even the cringe parts, might make your “coming of age” helps you become more mature. Parents, teachers, and friends might think that the “awkward phase” was extremely weird. You might be grateful that you had that phase because it helped you find out who you are today.  

Movies sometimes are accurate with school teens growing up in high school and how it affects teens normally, but most of the time it’s inaccurate. It might be accurate, but not to everyone; not everyone is going to have that romance that changes their life. She might not find her love in a lover but maybe in herself, such as her starting to love her body or the way she speaks, which she used to be insecure about. He might not find his lover from someone but he might stop getting scared to talk about his family situation because he found others in the same situation. They will find their individuality from something that will change the way they perceive people or in life in general. They might become of age from situations like found where they feel comfortable growing and developing from being a kid. 

Having fights with people is not totally normal, but sometimes it is necessary to end a relationship with someone. For example, having a fight sometimes is normal to build or destroy a friendship. Having an agreement with your parents sometimes could be healthy if your parents aren’t listening to you at all over an important subject. It might help to talk to them sometimes which might lead to a fight but that’s ok (only talking- not physical). Teachers sometimes won’t listen to you or help you talk it out or even send them an email to get help from them. Not everyone will listen to you at all times and that’s ok- sometimes you need to think by yourself for a little bit. Fighting can be destroying and building which one you choose will affect you, that’s all up to you. 

The awkward phase most people experience is that phase during high school, whether it’s that weird emo phase, preppy girl phase, or introverted phase. People might judge others for their phase during or after. Some people never exit that phase, which is totally fine and normal, as some people say “Mom, it was never just a phase.” In the “weird” phase, people might find friends through their phase also, maybe an emo might connect to others by liking the same music taste, or popular kids might connect through sports and such: they are all just expressing their individuality differently than others. They will all find who they are before, during, or after they will figure it out eventually. Even if they try to conform to the standards, perhaps eventually they will finally try to find out who they are one way or another. Maybe they will get out of it or stay in it happily. 

Not everyone has to conform to certain standards; everyone is their own individual people. Life will change throughout high school during, after, and before. Once you finally fit the standards they will change right after; do not waste your time trying to conform to them. Instead, try to find the real you, maybe you will become happier after that. Movies are not accurate and don’t conform to their looks, body, and personality. Friends come and go; do not spend all your time trying to fit who they want you to be. Try not to be scared to be the real you in front of your friends; if they dislike you, well that’s their loss, not yours. Sometimes fights are ok; disagreements with your parents are normal, you don’t have to worry about it; give them time and rethink your thoughts. Never worry about your awkward phases; yes, you will make fun of yourself in the future. You might grow from the fights, the friendships, social standards, and phases. When you’re older you will thank yourself for finding who you are.