When we think of Valentine’s Day, we think of happy relationships, finding love, and excitement but during the “happy” holiday, many problems can arise. When Valentine’s Day comes around it can have both positive and negative effects on relationships. Some positives are that it provides an opportunity to appreciate your significant other through gifts, romantic gestures, and quality time. These things can greatly strengthen the emotional bond of your relationship. Valentine’s Day allows couples to have many new great experiences and show appreciation for each other through different acts of love. 

Some negatives of Valentine’s Day are pressure to perform, comparison, and disappointment. With pressure to perform your significant other might feel like their gift isn’t good enough compared to others which also correlates with comparison and disappointment which is a result of “not getting a good enough gift”. According to conect2affect.org “Overall, about a quarter of adults (23 percent) have negative feelings about the upcoming holiday. Those negative perceptions include feeling lonely, sad, disappointed, annoyed, stressed out, or nervous; some even dread it.” 

When you are caught up in what your partner is trying to get you, you lose the true meaning of Valentine’s Day, which is to show love and appreciation for your partner, with or without extravagant gifts. Some ways to fix these unrealistic expectations and problems are communication, personalization, and managing the expectations. With communication, boundaries can be set and will allow you to have a good understanding of each other’s goals and expectations which could really save your relationship. Many relationships crumble when they lack communication. For example, when a man buys a woman just flowers and she is expecting jewelry, it might make this loving holiday problematic. 

These negatives don’t always apply to romantic relationships; they could also apply to many friendships and relationships in general. Communication is really important in any relationship. It is important to have a solid pair of boundaries and rules of what you expect and what the person can get for you or what you can get for them.