A Beginners Guide to the 2018-19 NBA Season

Ben Malo, Staff Writer

Welcome to the NBA preview for Dummies. We will be going through some of the teams of the NBA (National Basketball Association) and the very basics on who they are as a franchise and what they are currently.

Golden State Warriors: You have to hate the Warriors. It doesn’t even matter where your from or which players you like. YOU HATE THE WARRIORS. They are the best team compiled of the most talented, and the greatest players in the world. They are going to win it all this year and it won’t even be close. So why hate them? I don’t know you just have to.

Oklahoma City Thunder: Whenever anyone from anywhere except Oklahoma City says anything about this team it will be about Russell Westbrook. Any question asked about this team your answer will be Russell Westbrook. Here’s an example.

Johnny: So, how are the Thunder looking this year?
Jim: Russell Westbrook
Johnny: Agreed, they do need to upgrade their wings and rebounding

Cleveland Cavaliers: Wait? They’re still in the league?

Los Angeles Clippers: They were pretty good for a little bit. Now they’re the Clippers again. They really have nothing, so the only mistake you could make here is confusing them with the Lakers. Please don’t do that.

Los Angeles Lakers: They are a storied franchise and are currently packed with young talent and matched with the best player in the world, Lebron James. Some notable Lakers were Kobe (the guy whose name everyone shouts out when they shoot paper in the trash can) Shaq (He’s really large) and Magic Johnson (no his real name is not Magic).

Boston Celtics: Another storied franchise that contains the only roster even close to capable of beating the unbeatable Warriors. There roster is full of talent that ranges from all stars Al Horford, Kyrie Irving, and Gordon Hayward to second year star Jayson Tatum. With an arguably better bench, the Celtics could possibly beat the Warriors, that is if they could play 5 minutes without breaking something. And when I mean break something, I mean literally break it off, like amputate it.

Houston Rockets: On paper they look like a complete title contender. Lead by the best guard tandem the league has ever seen (James Harden and Chris Paul) paired with future hall of famer Carmelo Anthony, they have to be great. Right? Wrong, very wrong. They are going to struggle this year because of one reason and one reason only, Carmelo Anthony. He is the most cursed superstar the NBA has ever seen. He somehow makes teams worse, when it doesn’t even make sense how he makes them worse. He just does. He could not play a minute, and when the Rockets lose, it’s definitely his fault. So when the Rockets start to struggle, just blame it on Melo.

Brooklyn Nets: Oh, wait. Word has just come in that the NBA has traded the Nets to the YMCA rec. league for a bag of chips and a juice box.

Toronto Raptors: With the new addition of the most boring superstar since Tim Duncan, the Raptors look like a pretty good team. Lebron is out of their conference and the Celtics get hurt while watching Netflix, so maybe they’re the lucky team that gets to get swept by the Warriors.

Milwaukee Bucks: What is Milwaukee? They have a really tall guy with a long name, right?

So these are just a few of the teams in the NBA that may get brought up at a family dinner or BBQ. I leave you with this last piece of advice, whenever anyone brings up any team that was not discussed, say “Lebron”.

Larry: So how do you think the Wizards and John Wall will do?
You: Lebron James
Larry: Good point, so who will win MVP?
You: Lebron James

Boom, and just like that, with two words – everyone is impressed.